


또 또 또

by teal_shadow



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-04 02:03:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teal_shadow/pseuds/teal_shadow
Summary: In my vast desert of a heart, only a cold wind blowsI’m an empty shell,A coward without youPeople around me look at me with pityIt kills me





	1. Empty

**Author's Note:**

> Jinwoo's solo promotions has finally wrapped up and I miss him again :(
> 
> I guess this is my way of coping.

It was a bright and sunny morning. He didn't think living in the countryside again would give him the motivation he needed to find passion in the things he loved once more. He kept thinking if he deliberately waited for it to come crashing down but Mino can never fault him for not trying because he did.

"Jinwoo, is anything wrong?" Seulbi asked him. He didn't notice he had already arrived outside her café. He works part-time here now. His childhood friend graciously welcoming him and willing to lend him a helping hand. He told everyone he's taking a break from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

"Oh. It's nothing! I was just trying to remember if I left enough food and water for the boys." he scratched his head and she smiled.

"I'm sure your mom would be willing to drop by your place to check on Rei and Bei."

"She would even if I don't ask." he smiled and they both entered the café to set up.

"Seungyoon," Mino was about to voice out his concern, but his friend held up a hand.

"Don't start. You know I love you both but I'm not about to divulge Jinwoo's whereabouts." Mino's brow furrowed at that while Seungyoon just turned back to the track he was working on.

"Wasn't it you that initiated the break up anyway?" Seungyoon asked him as he continued to adjust some beats. Mino was lucky Seungyoon wasn't in one of his prickly moods or else he would've gotten kicked out harshly.

"It was but I didn't think he'd runaway and disappear like that. Even his manager doesn't know where he ran off to." Seungyoon hummed at his friend's complaint.

"What did you expect? Jinwoo hasn't been himself the past few months." Seungyoon suddenly stopped with his work and Mino held onto his swivel chair.

"What do you mean? I knew you have information. Spill it." Seungyoon hated being ordered around but he knew the elder was going to force it out of him eventually. He turned his seat to face his friend and gestured for him to take a seat on the leather couch.

"I thought you noticed?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't that why you broke up with him?" Mino looked back on the past few weeks leading up to that night and he kept trying to piece together the Jinwoo that faced him broken then.

_Two weeks ago _

Jinwoo was at home in the apartment he shared with Mino. But it didn't feel like _home_ anymore. He felt especially detached these days. His manager had been pestering him to come to the agency for days now. His latest drama had finished filming two months ago. There's still a CF of him on TV though despite not shooting one for almost a month now.

He knew he was slacking off. He just couldn't pinpoint if it was a bout of depression or an existential crisis. It didn't help that Mino was out on tour for another weekend. He still called while on the road though brief and usually just asking if he ate and how were the boys and their princess doing. Strangely enough, his self-imposed hiatus has led him closer to Jhonny to the point that Rei and Bei start whining for his attention too.

It was a bright Tuesday and none of the shows on TV were entertaining enough to permit him to sit on the couch the entire day. He's also run through his lists of series he needed to catch up on. Maybe it was time to visit the company. He sighed. He had a conscience and his manager crying over the phone this morning might've done it more than the lack of things to watch.

"Look who finally showed up," Jinwoo turned to the person and saw Seunghoon hanging by the end of the third floor corridor. He let himself smile a bit. He missed his best friend.

"Hey," he greeted and Seunghoon made his way to him. It seemed he just got off a choreography session with his outfit and the towel hanging by his neck. 

"Did you eat already?" Jinwoo shook his head.

"Let's head to the cafeteria. We might catch Yoon there."

Yoon was down to his last piece of kimchi when he noticed someone sitting in front of him. _Make that two someones_.

"What do you want?" he mumbled while chewing his food.

"Don't be gross, Yoonie" Jinwoo chastised playfully.

"Yah! Didn't you miss this pretty face? We haven't seen him in forever." Hoon scolded. Yoon took a gulp of water before replying.

"I thought Mino finally lost it when he saw Jinwoo's love scene in that drama. Weren't you accompanying him on tour?" Yoon asked Jinwoo who seemed to have lost his smile at the question. He shook his head at his friend's question.

"After my last projects, I feel a bit burned out so I told him to enjoy without me." the small smile he graced his friends didn't seem to reach his eyes. Hoon's expression darkened a bit while Yoon was contemplating. They ended lunch with promises to catch up soon and went their separate ways.

Jinwoo went home a little after 8pm. The company had a few projects lined up for him. They heeded his request for a break but warned him he needed to keep up the momentum of his public popularity. He nodded but he knew he didn't care much for popularity anyway. That was Mino's job and interest. Speaking of Mino, he hadn't called or texted the entire day despite Jinwoo taking out his phone a number of times during contract readings. He shrugged, _maybe he's tired_. The cat sitter was on her way home as he paid her upon his arrival. He was drained and he didn't know why. He laid down their bed without changing or even removing his shoes and closed his eyes.

"Mino! Are you coming?" one of his back up dancers were at his door asking. The crew was planning on celebrating another soldout show and their last for this tour. Jinwoo wasn't answering any of his calls. He checked the time.

_11:30_pm. It wasn't that late yet. He's just in the last of leg of his tour in Japan. It couldn't have been time difference. He sighed. He'd try again tomorrow morning. Maybe once Jinwoo sees all his attempts at calling him, he'd call back.

"Sure! Gimme a sec," he reached for his coat, camera, phone, and keycard. He needed a night to unwind.

_Present_

Mino noticed his phone vibrating. It's been two hours since his talk with Seungyoon. He was at the living room lounging his cat, Jhonny, within eye sight. She'd been cold lately. He found it funny how she seemed to be competing against him on who can sulk better. He took his phone out of his pocket and answered without looking at the contact.

"Hello,"

"Yah! Jinwoo said he wasn't in Seoul? I wanted to invite him out for drinks in this new bar my friend was opening tonight but he said he was out of town. Is he filming something again?" it was his sister Danah. She always thought of Jinwoo as a better drinking buddy given his god-tier alcohol tolerance.

"I don't know what he's been up to these days. But yeah, he isn't here."

"What do you mean?" his sister seemed genuinely confused. He must've forgotten to inform his family.

"We broke up." he replied. He hated the way his voice sounded defeated but it's his sister he's talking to anyway. He didn't care. 

She scoffed at him and he mentally prepared himself for the scolding he knew he was going to get. For some reason, breaking up with Kim Jinwoo comes with it.

"He was the best thing that ever happened to you! How could you?" this made him scoff in return. _What did she know? Why is no one on my side?_

"If you're just going to scold me, keep it. I'm tired from Seungyoon's scolding today."

"Serves you right. You can thank him for me." 

"Thank him yourself."

"But seriously though, what happened? He seemed normal when I called. The only strange thing was how he couldn't tell me any details of his trip." his sister sounded more concerned now. This made his lips lift a bit to a somewhat smile. _Indeed, what happened? _Even he didn't know. 

"At least you're one of the few people he answers when called. He hasn't answered any of mine." 

"Have you tried calling him since?"

"I did, Danah. Again and again and again and again." 


	2. Sentimental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This feeling that comes to me  
Every night without fail  
For some reason I hate it  
Then I try calling you again  
Just in case you’re feeling the same thing as me

Jinwoo knew he had to face repercussions. He didn’t even tell his parents what had happened. The only people who truly knew what was happening to him these days were both in Seoul. He had begged Seungyoon and Seunghoon not to speak of it to anyone in exchange for daily reports on how he was doing. He just needed a month for himself. He neeeded to get away from everything he thought he ever wanted. It was weighing on him too much, the pressure of having to be able to keep it. His happiness. His career. That overflowing darkness in him fed by the question, _we won't be able to be happy forever, right?_

_night before That Night_

As per their tradition, big events in their careers require a celebration. Jinwoo booked one of their favorite restaurants in Gangnam. He texted Mino that he was there already, but he can wait. Mino texted beforehand that upon his flight landing, he wanted to fix a few things at the company first. Jinwoo was just fumbling over his phone when he noticed Mino come in. He gave a tired smile.

“How was the tour?” he wanted to ask hoping to clear the atmosphere being a little awkward. It wasn’t usually like this between them. Was it the months apart? It couldn't have been. They’ve been away from each other longer. Maybe it was just him. Before he can wrack his brain for other answers, Mino replied.

“It was tiring but fun and worth it.” when Jinwoo finally looked him in the eye, he saw Mino’s brows were furrowed. Before he can ask what was wrong, the other reached out his hand and wiped a stray tear from his face.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Mino was concerned now. Seunghoon had sent him a confusing text two nights ago about how he should check up on Jinwoo. He didn’t pay it much attention since they both call each other daily while he was away. Maybe there was something wrong after all and Mino felt powerless seeing as how Jinwoo’s tears just kept flowing.

“Excuse me,” Jinwoo suddenly stood up and headed for the restroom.

Jinwoo didn’t comeback until the main course was served. His eyes were red rimmed. The food at their table seemed untouched except for the glass Mino was holding. 

Mino was at his second glass of whiskey at this point. He can’t help but blame himself even though he knew Jinwoo wouldn’t want that and the tour schedule was beyond his control. Their relationship survived through longer absences from each other. He couldn’t understand where it all went wrong. He figured some booze would help loosen up the nerves he was feeling. He didn’t want to add to Jinwoo’s discomfort.

"Are you alright?" he asked the other.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I guess my emotions are just all over the place. I missed you that much." Jinwoo tried to give his most sincere smile but he can see Mino still had doubts. To be honest, he also couldn't decipher what he was feeling so it wasn't technically a lie. In the end, Mino gave him one of his gentle smiles and held his hand.

When they were through with all the courses, Mino wanted to breech the subject of Jinwoo's wellbeing. The small talk had to end. He knew he just got back and was tired but it was important for him to be there for Jinwoo. Maybe the calls didn't suffice. Something was definitely wrong and he wouldn't let the night end until he found out what it was. Mino reached out for Jinwoo's hand again and the other seemed to be more alert of his presence now. Jinwoo's focus had shifted to him.

"Tell me what's wrong." Mino softly requested. He can feel Jinwoo's grip slightly loosen but his remained. The other tried to shift his gaze again.

Jinwoo didn't know how to articulate. He knew he had a whole speech prepared but his palms were starting to sweat and he can feel anxiety creeping in.

_Relax. It's just Mino. It's Mino. Why are you being so stupid? _ he berated himself. If anyone was going to be there for him, it was Song Minho. It was his person.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately," he started. It was a small issue in the bigger chunk of darkness creeping in him but he needed to do this little by little.

"Are you having nightmares?" Mino asked softly. He was now tracing small circles on Jinwoo's hand that he was holding onto like a lifeline.

"Not really. I just feel tired but I can't seem to fall asleep. I've been cooped up in our apartment for almost the entire month. I don't want to feel like a burden but it's like I'm suffocating. I don't know how to make this feeling go away.” Jinwoo can feel the tears threatening to resurface again but he’s willing himself to keep it together.

“Hey, look at me.” Mino’s other hand had traced his cheekbones and finally got a hold of his chin and directed his gaze to meet his.

“It’s okay. It’s okay to admit you’re tired and you need a break. You’ve been busy. Heck, we’ve both been. We deserve to lie low for a while with all the hard work we’ve put out.” Mino said this with all his sincerity and he could feel it resonating to his weary heart. He smiled and suddenly he was bombarded with thoughts of why he knows. He knows that Song Minho is and always will be the love of his life.

“Let’s go home?” Mino asked and all he can do is nod. Their hands intertwined until they reached Jinwoo’s car.

_Present_

It had been three weeks since he left Seoul. He knew he had to go back as per the company’s orders in two weeks. There were contracts lined up already and deals that had been made on his behalf. He hasn’t even book for a ride away from the island yet. He figured he can call the landlady of the AirBnB place he was occupying that he’ll be vacating it after the first week of next month. He also had to tell Seulbi that she had to find a new part-timer soon.

Jinwoo was just finishing up with cleaning the counter. It was his turn to close up today. He wanted Seulbi to enjoy the night with her fiancé. They were going to get married in autumn this year. He already had his name listed as one of the guest with a plus one. He didn’t even know if he still had a plus one to bring. He also agreed to sing a song for the couple as a payback for all the missed letter he forgot to reply back to his childhood friend before they switched to communicating via SNS. He was too busy with his thoughts that he didn’t hear the store bell chime.

“Hey,” the newcomer said. Thinking it was a customer, he lifted up his head to apologize kindly and inform them that the shop was closed for the night. To his shock, it was none other than Song Minho in the flesh and not a delusion from the many nights he spent thinking of the other while in his childhood home.

“I dropped by your parents and they said you were here.” Mino continued and sat by the table closest to the counter.

“Is Jhonny—” he was struggling with his thoughts but Mino kept smiling at him seeming to know it was the case.

“She’s with Seungyoon. Back in Seoul. How are you doing?” Jinwoo’s mind went blank. He can only stare at Mino. The other got the queue and stood up from where he was seated.

“Hmm, let's do this first then. What else do you need help with? We’ll be able to close up faster and catch up over late dinner. What do you say?” Mino offered and Jinwoo can only nod at the other.

After they closed up the café, Mino double-checking the front and back doors if they were locked. His car was parked up front. Jinwoo noticed how the other didn’t bring his flashy Aventador and opted to rent out a black Sorento. Mino noticed the other’s curious gaze.

“I rented it off Mokpo Airport. It was kind of a last minute thing. Going here. Hop in,” Mino opened the passenger side for Jinwoo. They didn’t even have a destination in mind yet.

They were driving towards the stretch of the main street when Jinwoo remembered it was way past the operation hours of most stores and restaurants in the island. He was about to ask Mino what his plan was when the car stopped by an open convenience store. The other looked his way.

“Any request?” Mino asked.

“You know me best.” Jinwoo answered softly before he can think better of it.

Mino was about to get out the car when he whispered.

“I used to think that too,” before Jinwoo can reply, the door had closed and Mino was walking towards the store already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are appreciated~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback are appreciated~


End file.
